Breaking news coming from the Arctic Circle. The notoriously vicious baby seal has launched a violent attack on Paul and Heather Mills McCartney.
Our resident artist, here at The Spine, has tried to capture what this incident might have looked like but, without doubt, the cruelty of the episode is likely to cause renewed appeals for the authorities to reconsider the place of baby seals in areas populated by well-meaning multi-millionaire pop stars.
I never knew that seals could be this violent. Perhaps I should consider bringing along a taser just in case this happens. ;)